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Dana Tanaro Britt's avatar

**sigh** So good, as always, Barbara! Gorgeous tulips and the glass they’re in! I love windowsills too.

These days, with my children grown, I’m transported back in time to those halcyon days in frequent flashes—most recently this morning when stirring gravy for breakfast for two, and yesterday evening when someone mentioned a book my children loved. Motherhood was my dream and I’ve loved every bit of it.

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

What sweet memories, Dana.

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Charlotte Rains Dixon, MFA's avatar

"Buttery little toddler" is such a perfect description. My youngest grand will be three on March 1 and he is just that--a buttery little toddler. He's so luscious and buttery I want to eat him up! I know that soon these days will be a memory for me, just as motherhood is now.

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Katherine's avatar

This is beautiful and made me bawl. I'm 44, not a grandma yet but hopefully someday soon. My two oldest are 23 and 21 and my youngest is 12. I'm in this strange stage of moving past the constant demands of motherhood, changing into something else I'm just not sure of yet.

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

That’s a very powerful stage, too, and one we don’t really talk about a lot. I think our lives have grown so much longer that we need a name for the time between Mother and Wise Woman. Explorer?

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Katherine's avatar

I love that

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Dana Tanaro Britt's avatar

Hugs Katherine, it’s as much a change as becoming a mother, I think.

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Susan Williams's avatar

This touched a tender nerve for me. I am in the middle of a huge move right now, selling a home, moving to a new city to be closer to my adult daughter. Moving doesn't bother me much as I was raised an army brat and have made dozens of moves as an adult. However, I am awash in memories of other homes, other versions of myself and life.

My mother was a genius in her ability to make military housing feel like home. A few beloved objects and a favorite meal, our books and photos helped it to seem familiar and less strange. Many would consider it woman's work but in years from now your girls will remember a blue vase of tulips and their hearts will be glad.

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

Those big moves do stir up a lot. All those other selves. And thank you for the reminder that the girls might think of those tulips. May your move go smoothly.

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Lee Ann Valetti's avatar

I felt as if I was sitting at your table. Tulips are my most favorite flower...just one more reason to love you. ❤️ God bless you and your family.♥️

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

I’m happy to have you at my table, Lee.

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Tara's avatar

This is beautiful. But it’s sad too when you get to the point that there isn’t anybody to make a home for, nobody who wants a home you could make.

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

We can make a home for ourselves as tenderly as for others. Maybe it all starts there, anyway. I’m am 100% sure my husband doesn’t care that there are three different kinds of hares on the pillows on my couch. Buy yourself some flowers!

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Jodi Anderson's avatar

I felt this so hard. The beautiful lyricism of your words evoking my own memories. Thank you.

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Nora Lutzow's avatar

What a lovely picture you've drawn with your words. Such a great description of young girls as they emerge from being toddlers, it all goes by much too fast. Enjoy your homemaking!

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

Thank you, Nora.

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Valerie Brooke's avatar

Barbara your writing transported me back to a time I was renting a home with some women, raising my toddler daughter. I can see her in the backyard playing in the grass, picking herbs from the garden, digging in the dirt. Thank you. You have such a gift.

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

It’s so much richer than we know at the time, when we are becoming, as well as our children.

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Brenda Hage's avatar

Hi Barbara, Thanks for putting into words these thoughts of home and motherhood. They really reasonated with me and took me back to my early mothering years. So much has changed sinced then; the decade long caregiving journey of my father with cancer and dementia, my son who died from brain cancer too young at age 39, and now my frail, 88 year old mother with lymphoma, and then the end of a 42 year old marriage through divorce. So much loss, but being able to reflect on those early days of joy is a treasure.

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Barbara ONeal's avatar

My heart goes out to you. So many sorrows to carry, not the least a divorce after so long. I’m glad you found a moment to visit the joys this morning. As Bob Seeger so poignantly says, sometimes a person “wishes I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”

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Dana Tanaro Britt's avatar

Comfort and peace to you, Brenda.

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Charlotte Rains Dixon, MFA's avatar

Brenda, I'm so glad you are able to find joy throughout these difficult days. Sending good thoughts to you.

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